While some mothers might never need to express their breastmilk, these days it is something most breastfeeding women will need or choose to do. Sometimes as part of a management plan to overcome breastfeeding problems, sometimes it is part of returning to paid work, study or other regular or occasional separations of mother and baby.

The 4th Trimester can be accurately described as exterogestation. Following the brief interruption as the baby exits the uterus via the birth canal (or surgical incision) the human infant resumes gestation on the exterior of the maternal body, where she now actively feeds, warms and protects her immature infant. Everything done to the mother has a direct impact on the baby and many things done to the baby have a direct impact on the mother. Bonding is the process of ensuring the mother will not simply set the baby aside and get on with her life. Secure attachment is developed by the infant when their mother responds to their needs with love and care. The very language we use implies a connection so strong it cannot be broken.

It is a skill which is threatened with extinction as more and more breast pumps are sold around the world, however it is something all breastfeeding women should be taught. Relying on electric or even manual breast pumps to provide your baby’s breastmilk leaves you vulnerable to outages and unexpected damage or loss of equipment.

Babies are always safer if they sleep in the presence of an adult caregiver compared to sleeping in a room on their own, so during the day your baby is safest if they are sleeping near to an adult who is looking after them.

Nearly all breastfeeding problems in the early days come down to one thing:

a baby who is well-attached to the breast can effectively remove milk which satisfies hunger and maintains milk supply

It sounds simple yet it is probably the biggest barrier we face in meeting our breastfeeding goals.

It is a mistake to confuse lack of language with lack of communication skills.

Although human babies do not begin to speak recognisable words until around the second year, they very clearly communicate their needs and feelings from the moment of birth. However parents can’t download a translation app so learning what babies are telling us takes a bit of time.

Ah, it's that time of day!

That time when your baby latches on to the boob around sunset and only come off the swap sides ... again. Quick nappy change and ... back on the boob. Into the baby carrier and ... boob. More boob while you prep Dinner, more while you eat dinner. Boob in front of the TV ... boob in bed while you scroll on your phone. Asleep! Ninja roll out from beside them to dash to the loo and ... okay, more boob!

And this is entirely normal!

Separating infant feeding and infant sleep is quite possibly the root cause of so many modern problems surrounding the two. The expectation that night feeding is an inconvenience to be tolerated in the very early days of infancy, but needs to be eliminated as soon as possible has no evidence to support it - and a great deal to debunk it.

Resenting your child's contact naps because you are wasting time that could be better spent does you no good at all. You might have intentionally chosen this pathway or stumbled across it on your journey. Here you are, practicing the gentle attachment style of parenting which appealed so much ... and wishing your child would just lie down in the cot and fall asleep by themselves like all the other babies.

We measure pregnancy over nine months divided into thirds: the first trimester is a secret time, when an embryo develops into a foetus hidden away from the outside world; in the second trimester news of the pregnancy is shared and celebrated and preparations begin; in the third trimester the focus moves to the impending birth and plans made for labour and delivery. We celebrate the arrival of the newborn as though the journey has ended. But for the newborn, an even bigger transition must now be made.

Deeply buried beneath layers of social conditioning are your maternal instincts.

Like bubbles in water they rise whenever your new baby cries. But they get pushed back down under the weight of public opinion.

“Don’t pick them up when they cry”

“Don’t hold your baby all the time”

“Don’t let them sleep at the breast”

Consider life in the weeks leading up to birth. Your baby never experiences hunger, cold, silence, stillness or isolation. They are held increasingly firmly by the strong muscles of the uterus. Their digestive system is still. They are rocked by the gentle movement of their mother, even as she sleeps. Her presence is constant, her heartbeat and other body sounds a rhythmic soundtrack. Light and sound are muted.

After nine months floating in amniotic fluid, it is no wonder a bath can relax a new baby. You can share a bath with your baby or bath them alone but make sure you keep the water deep and warm. Ask your midwife or child health nurse how to hold your baby securely and help them float. Deep bathing is a technique which especially calms sensitive babies and sometimes they relax enough to fall asleep in the water!

Touch is an overlooked sense, yet one which is incredibly powerful in the bonding between parent and child. Ashley Montagu wrote about this in his acclaimed book Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin in 1971:

“Among the most important of the newborn infants needs are the signals it receives through the skin, its first medium of communication with the outside world”

Your baby is not going to sleep through the night and that’s because they aren’t supposed to!

Its a hard fact to process in a modern society who pursues unnatural infant sleep and feel they have failed when their babies do not reach this parental goal. But you can no more train a baby to sleep all night than you can train them to walk or ride a bike. It is developmentally normal for babies to repeatedly wake at night to breastfeed and to need parental contact and support to return to sleep.