Surgical delivery of babies evolved, from a last chance attempt to save mother and child, to common practice in less than a century. In 2021, 38% of all women giving birth in Australia had a caesarean section (AIHW 2023)

My personal experience was three out of three children were born by caesarean section.

Most parents facing a surgical delivery of their baby would prefer a natural vaginal birth. Despite the media, very few elective (planned) caesareans are because of preferences of the parents or doctors. Quite simply, nobody undertakes major abdominal surgery unless medically indicated.

Everyone says they can't wait to hold your new baby when you are pregnant - but nobody says they can't wait to do all the practical stuff so you can focus on holding your new baby!

There is so much to fit in on top of your existing responsibilities when you bring a newborn into your household and less time and energy to do any of it.

The announcement has been made - you are about to be upgraded from parent to grandparent!

Now what?

Your journey as a grandparent is very different from that as a parent. This time, you are armed with knowledge and experience ... but someone else is in charge of the ship! Your beliefs around raising children might not match those of your son or daughter and their partner. The 20-40 years which have passed since your first child was born have seen some surprising changes in parenting. So let’s look at some things you might like to know.

Babies are not miniature adults.

Sometimes we expect an awful lot of these immature little humans whose brains take 25 years to fully mature. And probably the area we have the least realistic expectation is how we think they should sleep.

To hear some people talk about sleep in infancy, you would think that sleep was a behavioural problem and parents need to take control and correct the habits of their child whose waking is manipulative and intentional!

Reality check: adults cannot control their own sleep, let alone their baby’s!

The season of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding can be empowering as women embrace their biological ability to grow and nourish a whole new person. However, this can also be a season when women find themselves at odds with a system they have previously had little to do with. 

A healthy adult may only have seen a doctor for the occasional bad virus or sports injury. Many people have never been in hospital as a patient. If conception and pregnancy are free of complications, routine check ups are mostly touching base and dealing with minor symptoms.

Never before in human history has so much been expected of mothers. No longer respected for their role of creating a new generation and keeping them alive, modern women are supposed to do all that requires AND be productive as well. And by "productive", we mean earn an income, pay off a mortgage, develop professionally, be active in their community and be responsible for domestic life.*

When men take time away from paid work to care for their children they are raised to a pedestal and celebrated for being engaged fathers. When women take time away from paid work to care for their children they are considered non-productive and a drain on the economy.

Would you describe yourself as a left-brain or right-brain thinker?

Do you like lists, charts, structure and routine? Or are you more free-flowing, creative and flexible?

If your strengths are logic, planning and analytical, you might find learning to breastfeed really challenging!

While the theory of our human brains being neatly split into one hemisphere for logical thinking and the other for creative thinking is yet to be proven, there is no debate that most of us can identify with one side more than the other. And if you are a left-brain thinker, many aspects of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and the fourth trimester make you uncomfortable.

Have you been told you must not breastfeed because you need to take medication?

That advice may not be accurate.

Before you make any permanent changes to your baby’s feeding, fact-check your doctor or pharmacist.

That is pretty confronting. We rely on our health professionals to give us up-to-date, evidence-based medical advice. So how could they be mis-informed about drugs and breastfeeding?

Your Baby, your goals, your rights 

If you feel you are not receiving the support you need, feel pressured or start to doubt your abilities, it can be hard to advocate for yourself. If you are hearing information about your baby’s growth or development in emotive language or an authoritarian manner, you can feel your goals are no longer relevant.

A dummy (or pacifier if you speak American English) is a breast substitute for babies who have a high need to suck which their mother cannot always accommodate.

However, people often get this mixed up and acuse babies of using the breast as a dummy! How bizarre is it to imagine the artificial nipple is the default and a baby using the actual thing is the variation?

If you had a baby shower, gift registry or excited grandparents, chances are your home gained an array of baby equipment in the months before your baby was born. Look around the typical modern house with a baby and you are likely to see several variations of things to put your infant in.

Car seats, strollers, bouncers, seats, swings and other equipment can all hold your baby when you can't. Some - like car seats - are life saving essentials. Others have limited use. But all can become a problem if your baby spends too much cumulative time in them.

If you ask your mother what the words “nipple preparation” bring to mind, she will probably recall some detailed and uncomfortable practices she was advised to do during the final weeks of pregnancy. Depending on when you and your siblings were born, they might include some gentle massage with wool fat (lanolin) and exposure to sunlight - or if she was unlucky, rubbing with nail brushes and methylated spirits!!

The safest place for a baby to sleep in the first 6-12 months is in the same room as their mother. Day and night.

Many parents understand the need for a bedside nursery to make nighttime parenting easier when their baby cosleeps at night. However, learning the safest place for daytime sleep is not the room they prepared for the baby can come as a shock! (When exactly will this child be sleeping in their nursery?)

Your baby will be hanging out where you are so you might as well set up your space to work for you.

The safest place for your baby to sleep in the first 6-12 months is in the same room as you - day and night. While expectant parents often invest a lot of time and money into creating a room for their baby, the reality is that is the place where you store baby stuff and not a space your baby occupies very much!

By contrast, babies and mothers spend a lot of time together in the adult bedroom yet this space tends to be cobbled together while you are using it and nothing really feels organised or functional.

So let's look at what you might need for overnight and nap time in your bedroom:

Mammals make milk. It’s actually why they are called “mammals”. It is made by mammary glands, which we also call breasts. From elephants and blue whales to mountain pygmy possums and fruit bats. The females of all mammalian species give birth and make milk.