What are tired parents of multiples to do? 

Its pretty clear that the risks of SIDS are higher for premature and small babies. Non-breastfed babies are higher-risk than those ever breastfed. Babies in smoking households during and after pregnancy are also most vulnerable. Drugs and alcohol use increase risk

However, it is also recognised that intentional bed-sharing, with all adults aware of sharing a sleep space with their breastfed infant is a much safer prospect than accidental co-sleeping on a couch or sofa, arm chair or bean bag. Very tired parents sitting up to feed and settle babies risk falling asleep holding babies.

Bringing two or three new people into your household, people who introduce an incredible level of chaos along with them, is everything you expect it to be. Yet the reality is nothing like you can imagine! It is not just the “care of one baby times two or three”, its the disruption of the normal household rhythm and lack of control over how and when you do anything.

If you are expecting four or more babies, you will probably be inundated by brands offering unlimited supplies of disposable nappies. If you are looking forward to twin or triplets, you might be collapsed on the floor laughing at the idea of using washable nappies. However, if you are ethically opposed to one-use nappies and their impact on the environment, you have previously used cloth for your children or you are on a low-income and are terrified at the expense of two or three babies times 8-10 nappies per day for two or three years … you might like to keep reading.

If you have used a gentle, responsive, child-led approach to parenting previous children or this style resonated with you before you discovered you are expecting more than one baby, will you need to reconsider now?

When I had my first child, another mother in my mum’s group had twins the same age. Watching her spoon feeding her two babies in the same time it took me to feed one was awesome inspiring. But it was also 100% parent-led: these babies were not eating, they were having food put into their bodies without any autonomy.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that baby-led weaning - self-feeding from the start - is something which parents of singletons indulge in but parents of multiples haven’ got time for. But let me introduce you to someone.

We often get asked about babywearing twins. Often by stunned parents who have just found out their family is expanding by more than expected and wondering how exactly they are going to manage it all! Babywearing singletons is one way busy households function but two or three babies???

First thing to remember is multiples don’t have to do everything together or at the same time. Two adults, two babies, two carriers … works wonders. And one fussy baby can be soothed in a carrier while another is blissed out in the bassinet. One baby in a carrier, one in a single pram can be simplier than wielding a double or triple pram about in tight spaces like shopping strips, markets and events.

For many years I facilitated breastfeeding classes for parents expecting more than one baby. A comment I heard repeatedly was they had already been told that breastfeeding might be possible but they should be prepared to formula feed instead. Before their babies were even born, those in their support network of family, friends and health care providers were already attempting to let them down gently.

Yet time after time, I would hear the stories of participants overcoming challenges common to multiple births: childbirth interventions, prematurity and the practicalities of establishing breastfeeding with two or three infants. I even met a couple of families who had multiple multiple births - coming back to share their experience of breastfeeding thir second set or twins while the first set were toddlers!