Why motherhood feels so overwhelming

Never before in human history has so much been expected of mothers. No longer respected for their role of creating a new generation and keeping them alive, modern women are supposed to do all that requires AND be productive as well. And by "productive", we mean earn an income, pay off a mortgage, develop professionally, be active in their community and be responsible for domestic life.*

When men take time away from paid work to care for their children they are raised to a pedestal and celebrated for being engaged fathers. When women take time away from paid work to care for their children they are considered non-productive and a drain on the economy.

This week I heard the term "childcare in the home" to describe parents caring for their own children in infancy. Being a mother is no longer respected. The mother-baby dyad is forgotten by a society who value economics over everything. We will pay mothers to care for the children of other mothers but refuse to pay mothers to care for their own infants. Two women could birth children on the same day, take the same paid parental leave and return to the same industry and each be paid to care for the other woman's baby!

Women facing the cost of two children in child care while they work part-time are deciding they cannot afford the cost and are staying at home instead! And rather than acknowledging the value of their role, governments ponder how they can "support" these women to work five days a week instead of 3 or 4.

Women are not incubators. Breastmilk is not a commodity. Mothering can't be out-sourced.

(Yes, not all families include an adult who identifies as a mother. But the majority do. And they need advocacy too.)

*All-hail the minority of men who share the mental load and physical burden of domestic management. Studies still show women do more. Unicorns excepted.