Keep Me Close

Imagine being yanked out of your warm and cosy bed on a cold morning, without notice or explanation.

This must be how we all feel in that extraordinary moment we call birth. Confused, overwhelmed and shocked.

Keeping babies close in these early days helps them acclimatise to this strange world of sensory overload. Newborns seek contact and avoid isolation. Your baby cannot explain that the nursery you prepared with such love is an alien space. They cannot tell you that lying on their back in a bassinet is sending panic signals to their brain.

Babies have two types of communication: subtle physical cues with their face and body and gross physical cues in the form of crying. The first uses little energy, the second uses all the reserves they have. The further from you they are, the less effective those subtle cues.

When your baby is in another room, even if you are using a baby monitor, the time between waking and signalling through crying is too long. Newborns entire system is based on being in arm's reach at all times: their arm's reach, not yours. The very first thing they become aware of on waking is supposed to be their mother's body: anything else leads to alarm.

When mother's have too many responsibilities beyond the immediate needs of their new baby, they become overwhelmed. Very young children, a large household, social expectations and isolation from family support are all barriers to meeting the newborn's needs immediately. A compromise never intended in nature needs to be made. And babies cry louder and longer than they should need to.

Society has changed dramatically. Infant needs ... not at all.