Touching Base: Breastfeeding is more than just food

A young baby stirs in the night. Their mouth begins making sucking movements and their head moves searchingly from side to side until connecting with the nearby breast and latching on.

The ability to seek the breast continues throughout the breastfeeding years, even as that baby grows and develops mobility.

Babies and young children touch base with the mother dozens of times each day. For breastfed children, this is usually through the act of breastfeeding but is not always about food and drink.

Last century, behaviour-focused “experts” frowned upon what they considered comfort feeding. They saw dependence on the mother as problematic and a barrier to independence. Freud has a lot to answer for. As do the Victorians.

It is normal and natural for infants to connect via the breast throughout the day andnight. They do so to regulate emotions, initiate sleep, hydrate and nourish. They do so for pain relief, rest, restoration and relaxation.

A toddler who takes a tumble in the playground will cry out in fear, pain and outrage. The mother comforts them verbally and offers the breast. Moments later, the calm, smiling child returns to their adventures.

When big emotions overcome small people, a few minutes at the breast regulates their brain and body, slowing down their breath and heart rate and releasing relaxing hormones. They can process the experience and return to the source of conflict in a calmer state.

When a mobile baby or toddler returns to the mother for a quick breastfeed, they are topping up their connection so they feel safe to move away again. The mother is their “base camp” from which their expeditions into independence can be undertaken with confidence. Gradually, over a period of months or years, those expeditions increase in distance, duration and risk. A crawling baby might touch base multiple times within an hour as their brain discovers the mother remains available. A one year old will toddle off from the picnic rug, return and gradually expand their circle of exploration. A two year old might play independently without their mother in sight but seek her urgently when they tumble or become frustrated. A three year old might spend long periods playing with other children but seek the mother when disputes aren’t resolved in their favour. A weaned child will seek support in other ways but the breastfed child can fast-track to calm with the flow of oxytocin and regulation associated with breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding for comfort is not a bad habit. It is a normal aspect of the breastfeeding relationship between mother and child, designed by nature and working exactly as it is supposed to.