How long is a breastfeed?

Expectant parents know what they are in for. Disrupted sleep. Feeding the baby every few hours. Changing nappies. You know … baby stuff.

For many years I was a presenter at hospital antenatal classes, speaking to groups of pregnant women and their supporters. We would discuss breastfeeding and what to expect, common challenges and where to seek help.

At the end of the sessions I would invite anyone with personal questions to approach me during the break. One question is especially memorable all these years later:

“I know there’s going to be extra housework and stuff but what will I do all day at home with my baby?”

I often wondered if she reflected back on her question through the haze of the early years and smiled at her naivety?

The reality of caring for an infant is all consuming. That feeding, settling, sleeping and … stuff will take up most of your waking hours. And that's when it's all going well!

We need to be more honest about this and get real about what normal looks like. It isn't for ever but it feels never-ending.

Babies feed a lot. At least 8- 12 times in 24 hours in the early months. Now that averages out to 2-3 hours between the start of one feed and the start of the next: not, as some people innocently expect, a 2-3 hour break in between feeds. It is more likely to look like this:

Baby begins to show feeding cues as they wake from sleep. Ideally they are on or near the mother’s body so she can immediately bring them to the breast and start the hypothetical timer.

The baby might fuss and come on and off the breast as they get attached and trigger the let-down of milk. Usually just a couple of minutes.

The initial stage of the feed is fairly constant sucking and swallowing. There might be short pauses. This might be 15 - 20 minutes.

As they register their hunger is easing, the milk flows more slowly and is richer due to a higher fat content. Sucking becomes more leisurely and pauses become longer.

The baby might appear to be asleep, with light sucking every now and then. They are in a deep state of relaxation.

This might be the time to take baby off the breast by gently breaking the suction. Or the baby might slip off the breast independently.

Depending on the baby, what happens next can vary:

• You might change their nappy now. This probably disturbs the sleep and they begin to show feeding cues again.

• The baby might show feeding cues after they come off the first breast and move directly to the second side.

• The baby stays against the mother’ body and transitions into a deeper sleep stage.

If the baby typically has one breast per feed, they might go on the second after a nappy change just to fall into sleep again.

If the baby varies between one and two sides, they will take what they need before falling into a sleep cycle.

If the baby always has two sides, they will resume feeding in similar manner to the first side.

By now your baby has probably been breastfeeding for 30-40 minutes, plus an interval for nappy changing or a short rest of say 10-15 minutes.

If you are able to contact nap right now, your baby will stay on your chest or lying beside you until waking for the next feed. If you want or need to transition them into a separate sleep space, it's important not to rush: make your move too soon and they will wake from the early stage of light sleep and seek the breast to resettle. Give them 15-20 minutes in arms to move into deeper sleep and the transfer is less likely to wake them.

If you're quick at calculation, you have worked out that timer has already been ticking for over an hour. You could be 20 minutes into the 40 minute sleep cycle.

When your baby falls asleep against your body and isn't disturbed by a transfer, they might transition from one sleep cycle into another without waking. If they are sleeping alone and seek your body in light sleep, they might wake as they try to locate you.

In any case, you are likely to restarting that timer 1-2 hours after the end of a feeding session. Earlier in the day, you might get a longer downtime, while later in the day you will probably experience cluster feeding, where it is pointless trying to identify the end of one feed and the beginning of the next one!

As your baby grows and matures, they can take all they need from the breast in much shorter periods - 5-10 minutes is not unusual. Babies who need to experience longer periods of sucking will still hang out on the breast to meet that need. Babies who satisfy this need by sucking their fingers might have shorter time on the breast. Distracted babies might fly in and out frequently to top up but not hang about. They often catch up overnight when the environment is quieter.

How long is a breastfeed? Which breastfeed? No two feeds or babies are the same and every feed is unique. Responding to your baby's cues and avoiding schedules and limits is the key to successful breastfeeding. The baby knows what they need and when. Following their lead will ensure they and the breast work in harmony.

Frequency and duration of breastfeeds are not an indicator of breastmilk supply or production.