Parents Need Sleep Too!
Before their first child is born, many people view parenthood as a carefree experience. Yet, the reality often brings challenges such as sleepless nights, exhaustion, and adjusting to a new routine. This can be even more daunting for mothers recovering from birth interventions. Sleep becomes a precious commodity for all new mothers. Here are some helpful tips for getting more sleep.
The key to conserving energy effectively is by utilizing the help of others. Consider options like online grocery shopping, home delivery for essentials, hiring a cleaner periodically, or enlisting the support of a postnatal doula. If professional services are not feasible, lean on friends and family for assistance. Gifts like cleaning service vouchers or offering to help with tasks can be more valuable than traditional presents. By tapping into the energy of those around you, you can lighten your load and focus on what matters most.
When you're at home with a baby, it's smart to nap when they do. Create a comfy spot and relax with your baby.
Managing nap times when you also have a toddler is tough. Coordinate naps for a chance to rest, rather than stress about tasks.
If your older child doesn't nap, introduce quiet time in the afternoon while your baby naps and you relax in the same room.
Breastfeed Safely Lying Down
Learn how to breastfeed while lying in bed to avoid accidental sleep incidents. Ensure a safe sleeping environment by clearing your bed of hazards like extra pillows. Lay your baby on their back in the middle of the bed, and lie down next to them on your side. Position your baby correctly with their nose in line with your nipple, and bring them close to latch. Practice and seek support from professionals as needed.
Breastfeeding vs Formula for Baby Sleep
People may suggest using formula to help baby sleep better, but breastfeeding actually leads to more sleep for mothers. Breastfed babies also have longer nighttime sleep compared to formula-fed babies.
If you bottle-feed, try to always feed your baby yourself instead of letting others do it or propping the bottle. "Bottle nursing" is when you keep your baby close, make eye contact, and feed based on cues, not a schedule. Skin-to-skin contact and changing sides during feeding can mimic breastfeeding. Both you and your baby can benefit from peaceful feeding times and you might be able to nap once your baby has gone to sleep.
Sleep Hygiene for Parents
Its hard to balance your need for downtime with your need for sleep. A habit of zoning out in front of screens late into the evening is common among mothers who crave alone time. Those who also work outside the home see evenings as valuable time for domestic tasks and preparation for the following day. Even though you know you just need to head to bed as soon as your little one’s asleep, its a really hard commitment to make. However, evening habits get in the way of creating a bedime routine supportive of the extra sleep you need.
If you are at home on parental leave, regulate your day with a balance of infant care, home care and self care. Accept the changes to the pattern of your day and try not to measure your time by productivity. Sitting with your baby asleep at your breast is rest time, not wasted time. Just because you can fill every waking moment with a task doesn’t mean you should.
Taking care of yourself helps in caring for your baby. Prioritize sleep and adjust your routine for better rest. Be kind to yourself and set achievable goals beyond baby and self-care for improved well-being during this time of change. Find a good balance between the stuff you need to do and the stuff you want to do. Avoid comparing yourself to the lifestyles you see portrayed on social media. Most families with infants and young children are untidy and on the edge of chaos a lot of the time. Realistic expectations and priorities are an important part of surviving this season. Multi-tasking is not a badge of honour.
If you are in the paid workforce, be especially kind to yourself and invest in the supports you need. Don’t allow your work-life to creep into your homelife - especially if you work from home.
If you are parenting alone, protect yourself from burn-out by holding boundaries firmly for yourself. Find the support you need because it is not possible to do this on your own.
If you are studying and have a baby, be very honest about what you can expect to achieve and if you are giving your very best self to your studies. Consider deferring study if at all possible, especially if you also have paid work or have limited support in the home.
A word for partners.
Being the primary support to the breastfeeding parent is challenging. While you are also exhausted, they are having a whole other experience. Making milk is physically demanding and while breastfeeding can look like sitting or lying own all day, your partner is working really hard on the inside. Your need for more sleep is valid but their need has a direct impact on your baby’s well-being. They dont need you to feed the baby - they’ve got that. They need you to step up with everything else. They really understand you have to go to work in the morning and need your sleep - please don’t remind them of that. They also have to get up in the morning after disrupted sleep - its not a competition.
