Week Twelve
As you approach the end of this first three months you might be feeling like life is becoming more predictable. Your baby has a rhythm to their day and might be having some predictable times for feeding and sleeping. Or not. Some babies have nothing like a routine to their day and that is very typical. Breastfed babies will be feeding more efficiently and some feeds will be quick while others are long and leisurely. You might be told your baby is “snacking” and this implied as being a bad habit. Your baby’s shorter sleep periods might be described by others as “cat naps” and also said as though this is not a good thing. These comments often come from friends or family members who enjoy a cup of tea and a biscuit every couple of hours and regularly “rest their eyes” in front of the computer at work!
Babies are sometimes held up to very high standards. The adults around them can have bad days, stressful days, over-whelming days, tired days, hungry days and have lots of coping strategies. Babies are expected by some people to be almost robotic, eating and sleeping in regimented segments of the day without any variation. The Victorians believed children should be “seen and not heard” and there is an element of this behind a lot of people’s expectations of babies.
The first half of the 20th century is remembered for two world wars bookending a global depression. Almost all of the “experts” writing manuals on the management of babies and young children were influenced by their experience as during this era. The predominantly white male authorities had little personal experience and applied the strict routines and schedules which were deemed essential in managing armed forces, boarding schools and other institutions were transposed into daily life in the nursery and household management. The second half of the century saw the rise of the nuclear family and the domestic responsibilities of the housewife were both relieved by innovative labour-saving devices AND high expectations of hygiene and cleanliness in the home. Babies were predominantly formula fed in strict schedules which allowed the mother time to have her house in order and dinner on the table when her husband came home, where he was greeted by a clean and fed baby impeccably dressed and ready for bed so father wasn’t disturbed in the evening.
Your baby is feeding and sleeping just as nature intended. They have no clock other than their body clock.
