Reality Check

"Sleepless nights"

It's not like nobody warns you but the reality slams parents like a truck.

It's not just the early weeks.

It's not just occasionally.

It's not just short-term.

It's not just "wind" or "teething"

The conversation nobody has is that interrupted sleep is your new normal for at least the first two years of your child's life. It actually continues into childhood as night terrors, nightmares, wet beds and other disturbances come along.

The really hard part: how far apart your children are born determines if you will be woken by one or two children and how many years in total you will regularly have disrupted sleep. Add the disturbances from pregnancy-related heartburn, painful hips, frequent toilet visits and ... well, you are in this for the long-term.

The modern world expects both parents to be in paid work after brief paid parental leave. Many people plan to use their parental leave for additional study. Extended family is likely to live interstate, overseas or have their own overloaded schedules to juggle.

Modern humans have created the perfect storm of conditions leading to the boom in self-styled "baby whisperers" claiming to offer "gentle sleep training" for babies as young as six weeks. Books about infant sleep present the normal sleep patterns of young children as problems to be solved.

What these services and writers are actually touting is: "How to stop your child waking you at night". The whole dilemma is adults don't get enough sleep before adding children to the equation. The children disturbing adult sleep is the last straw.

Babies need adults 24/7 but adults want 12 hours off every night. At any cost.