The Reality of Breastfeeding

We're not supposed to talk about it, especially to people about to become parents for the first time.

The reality of breastfeeding.

We don't want to put them off the whole idea. And if we discuss it with family and friends, they either want to help you "fix" it, convince you to stop it or - possibly worst of all - say you only have yourself to blame, "you wanted to breastfeed" or you are creating a rod for your own back "giving in all the time".

Reality check: babies spend more time on the breast than they do off it. And this is not only normal but it's optimal!

Yes, in some cases frequent feeding is an indicator of inefficient milk transfer but for babies who are growing and meeting milestones frequent feeding is typical.

And it's demanding. And exhausting. Overwhelming. Frustrating.

You won't always love breastfeeding. That doesn't make you a bad mother: it makes you a real one.

Even less acknowledged: its not just in the early days, when people are still dropping off home made lasagne and impossibly tiny onesies. It comes back around 4-6 months. And 8-10 months. And 15 months and 21 months! :o

Because breastmilk is brain food and when those brains are in complex stages of development, it needs more milk! Which means, if you are reconnecting after separation on a workday, you will be feeding most of the time you are together. Just because.

Too many parents are told they aren't making enough milk when, really - they aren't recognising their baby's feeding cues as genuine and valid. Instead, the length between feeds is used as a scale of milk production: long break equals good. Short interval is bad. Long sleep is good, short sleep is bad. Six feeds is good. 12 is bad. And for that, we can blame the formula marketing machine, who spent the 20th century teaching doctors and nurses their version of typical infant feeding and sleeping behaviours.

Breastffed babies are not snacking. They aren't developing sleep props. They aren't manipulating parents. They aren't stunting their growth through lack of sleep.

#normalisebreastsleeping #normalisebreastfeeding